Leigh Anne Tuohy from “The Blind Side” Essay

Leigh Anne Tuohy from the movie The Blind Side embodies what it means to be a passionate, strong, and loving mother. Shes no bullshit, and its obvious on screen. When she speaks, she means it. She doesnt want to raise spoiled, bratty kids she sleep togethers better than that. When she gets tough, its non out of anger or hate. Its coming from a fertile place of love. She non unless demonstrates her passionate- nigh-life demeanor to her children, but to everyone she scratchs across. She is neer rude, bitchy, hateful, or disrespectful. But somehow she manages to remain a leader among everyone she meets.In the recent years, in that location have been some new philosophies on pargonnting that try to brainwash the minds of parents in need of guidance. These parents wear offt want to be mean or cut their children. They see other parents spanking and call with anger, and they k at present thats non the right federal agency to go. The new philosophies confirm this, but take a ro tatory stance on an alternative No leaders whatsoever.This sounds like something so wild and outlandish that it may actually work Bend to the childs every demand, and reward misbehavior. Disillusioned parents will try to look past the fact that their kids are not learning any responsibilities, demanding them around like servants, and progressing slow with behavior issues than other children their age. The scary part about it is nobody has yet seen the long-term affects of this no discipline parenting. Kids without strong leaders as parents are utilize to getting everything they need emotionally and materialistically from somebody else, and when theyre on their stimulate, there is no emotional parental crutch to hold their hand through produce sides. Their sureities go haywire, growing into selfish adults incapable of depending about others. Theyve been raised to be the constant center of attention at all times, so considering another(prenominal) persons well-organism would be silly.Either that, or the child grows to be depressed about life, finding out it doesnt work the way their parents had originally presented it to them. I could go on explaining all the reasons why that type of parenting doesnt work, but were overthat. Youre smart enough to not go down that road with your kids, so now I want to guide you in the right direction. And Leigh Anne is going to help me. She is the perfect model for how CharismaticKid teaches leadership to parents, and she depose be our company mascot if she wants to. (Leigh Anne, if youre reading this call me. Well do lunch.) Its in her vibe, in her tone, and in her words. And she knows words play the mildest role when it comes to precept leadership and discipline. Remember, childrens first teacher was body language, the next was verbal communication. Charismatic parents say more with one or two words than close to parents can say with a whole bucket load.1. RespectWhen her personal appealtic kid, SJ, puts his feet up o n the dashboard of her BMW, she turns from normal to dont even think about it tone.Gitchyer feet cancelled my dash.She said it calmly, as if she already knew he would comply. And he doesnt have a second thought about it. He takes them off as if he knew he wasnt supposed to, but forgot. Thank you. Put on your seatbelt.2. IndependenceWhen her daughter, Collins, smacked the floor after trying to save the oaf from hitting the ground at her high school volleyball game, she gave her mother a look of I cant deal with this anymore.Leigh Anne knows that confident kids dont come running to their parents when they encounter speed bumps. So instead of getting upset and feeling bad for her daughter, she gestures for her to get up, stop being a baby, and keep playing.Go.One word. Does this mean that Leigh Anne doesnt love Collins? Does this mean she is trying to lower her confidence? Just the opposite. She is raising an independent woman, who will know how to deal with issues by herself. Stron gwomen breed strong women. She loves her daughter so much that she wont stand to let her become dependent on another person. Do you think Collins will end up being a needy, desperate woman in ten years? fall apartt count on it.This face is saying, And I mean it, mister Dont you act like a sissy when it is your job to lead. Now run short3. MaturityIts obvious Leigh Anne doesnt sugar coat life for her kids. She knows that when they grow up, nobody is going to sugar coat things for them then, so why do it now? If they grew up having a skewed view on who they are in life, reality will hit effortful when they learn the truth. Leigh Anne knows this, and keeps it real with SJ after his performance as an American Indian in his school play.SJ, dont let this go to your head, but I thought you were very convert in the role of Indian number three?Yes.It was a real compliment, and that is light years more meaningful than blowing smoke up someones butt. SJ will grow up to know how to react to real criticism in a confident and mount up manner. He will learn to don when he isnt perfect, and this builds character. Someone comfortable with their vulnerabilities is the most confident person you can meet. She treats him as he wants to be treated, with sincerity. From watching the movie, its obvious SJ is mature for his age. Why do you think this is?Another example of teaching maturity to your children is to give them adult decisions to make that can affect the entire family. When you do this, you not only give them a sense of worth for themselves, but you are also preparing them to make important decisions as they become adults. Leigh Anne demonstrated a practiced example of this when she gave Collins the decision to whether the family should keep great mike in their home, or to let him go.Giving your child important choices to make on their own allows her to prove the maturity she wishes to show to the easing of her family. Its funny how when you give your child a acco untability, if you expect her to followthrough, most of the time she will.4. Compassion and rightOn their way home from the play, the Tuohy family saw Big mike walking in the rain to the gym to get some warmth. Hes now homeless and has nowhere to stay. What would you do in this situation? Leigh Anne was teaching SJ a lesson in compassion when she made no argument to bring Big Mike home with them for the night. Compassion is an emotion, and the definition of an emotion is a thought that inspires action. Taking him home was the action, and to pass-up on that would be ignoring her responsibility. It is any healthy persons responsibility to take care of others as a way of being grateful for life. Its nice to think that we would do something like this, but would we really? That small difference is what will make your child a giver or a taker as they grow up. unwrap Leigh Annes sternness with Mike as he is acting standoffish towards her. Notice the raised eyebrows, this is simple body l anguage denoting expectant of an answer. She uses strong facial expressions, body language, and eye collision with him to let him know she is not playing games. She didnt palaver to him from the car window, but instead walked straight up to him with little introduction. She was cutting to the point.Heres the shot of compassion.Here is her glare of responsibility. SJ sees all of this. She is saying with her face, Dont you dare deny that this is our responsibility.She doesnt ask, Would you like to stay at our house tonight? She knows hed say no. Thatd be a cop out for her. She can get back in the car and secure her family, Well, I tried. No, she knows that in order to be happy and to do the same for others, she has to take matters into her own hands. She TELLS him to come home with them. She knows its the right thing to do, and she knows Big Mike wants to, but is too shy. This is where her leadership skills come in as well. Most people are too scared to say how they feel. There a lways must be a leader in the group that calls the shots.Leigh Anne Tuohy takes that role seriously. Watch above how she doesnt plead with him, she just turns around KNOWING that he will follow.4. Body LanguageSJ is at the age where he is getting most of the lessons, and a kid would be fed up with his mothers discipline by now. But not SJ. Why is that? When Leigh Anne lays down the law, she doesnt do it with anger or emotion. It is straight up unemotional discipline. She also makes original everyone KNOWS she is in charge, so no one argues with her. SJ looks up to his mother because she is such a strong leader. Watch this clip below, and notice how her correction is quick, unemotional, and sure. SJ reacts like lightning, because Leigh Anne demands salutary behavior from her children, not just asks for it.Notice how the correction of SJs behavior did not make the relationship between him and his mother sour? Even straightaway afterwards, he was cracking up at his mothers assertive attitude towards taking Big Mike shopping. He loves her There were no hard feelings because Leigh Anne doesnt mix feelings with discipline. Also take note of how quickly Leigh Anne changes her demeanor from tough-love Leigh Anne to cheerful perky mama after the correction has been given. Lets talk about the subtle body language correction itself. SJ wasnt rebelling by putting his elbows on the table, nor did he MEAN to be disrespectful.He was simply being lazy and forgetful. Leigh Anne was acting as his temporary conscious brain reminding him of something he should already have known to do. When SJ gets older, hell be able to remind himself about bad body language, because hes been given cues as a child for when to correct himself. Why correct bad body language in the first place? Because if ignored, it can turn your mood into the way it looks. Elbows on the table blocks off others from talking to you. SJ wasnt trying to do that, but the perennial habit of it can eventually make h im feel more comfortable eating without anyone bothering him. Leigh Anne is there to nip that in the bud.5. Self-sacrificingDid I mention that charisma is about exposing your vulnerabilities? People are so caught up with the thought that confidence has something to do withonly showing your strengths, but thats just half the equation. When you can show your weakness to others, and take it even a step further and sacrifice yourself for their benefit, you are on your way to confidence mastery.When Leigh Anne gives the famous speech to Mike on the field about protecting his family, she is putting him in a leadership role among the teammates. A leaders job is not only to lead, but to ensure the well-being of the rest of the group. When you make the choice to protect your friends, family, or teammates, you are sacrificing the chance of your own well-being for others. This is what makes a loved leader. Notice how Leigh Annes expression up above is saying, I know you have the guts to take c harge of your team, Michael. So do it. Shes not yelling at him, she is disciplining him And its obvious that he adores and respects her stern demeanor. Leigh Anne doesnt beat around the bush, and people not only respect but enjoy such direct interaction. (Dont confuse this with bitchiness. Some people like to be blunt in a rude and demoralizing way to others, claiming they are just being honest. No, theyre not being honest, just negative. This isnt a confident trait, its insecurity manifested into fake confidence. Be sure not to mistake your confidence for anger, jealousy, or insecurity. A confident person is self-LESS, an insecure person is self-ISH.)6. Emotionally StableMost people in this world cause emotional instability. They get upset over things, whether big or small, and show anger towards others because of it. A confident person is always emotionally stable. There is never a time where getting upset is necessary or beneficial to a situation. It is always a deterrent to yo ur well-being, as well as to the rest of the people in your family.When Michael had gotten into a car accident with SJ sitting in the front seat of the pickup truck that the Tuohys had bought for him, he knew he screwed up bad. But aside from minor cuts and bruises, SJ was fine. Leigh Anne had a choice to use anger as a way to teach Mike a lesson, or to calmly address the situation with a peaceful mind. The problem with using anger as a methodfor discipline is that it breaks the trust between you and your child.Theyll begin cover things from you, lying to you about the party they went to last weekend, and eventually your kids will be living a secret life keeping you out of the loop when it comes to their real lives. But aside from the trust factor, choosing to live an emotionally stable life lowers your stress level to zero, and teaches your children to do the same. When you can approach each and every situation from a place of calmness, you automatically set yourself up for a conf ident disposition. Your family members feel more confident in following you, because your choices do not come from a place of negative emotion, but rather positivity and love.